I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
