Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
