He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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