Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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