Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize