im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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