lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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