This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
