Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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