If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
