mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize