And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
