youre lurking in front of me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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