I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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