I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
