We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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