i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think your dad took our porno
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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