I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
