Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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