Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
