soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
worst night to have a conscience
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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