it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
