Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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