I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
