Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
