oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
