I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
