You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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