I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
