my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
