They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
