I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
