At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize