im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
