You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
