The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
