I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You may now shotgun with the bride
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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