Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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