is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
420 ftw
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Every concussion has its silver lining
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
