this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You left your underwear on the fireplace
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
