the new term for farting is butt boxing.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
