ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
