By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
