My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i've created a new STD.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
