my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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