Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
