Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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