So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
