i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Congratulations! We have a period
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