life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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