when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
