If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
