I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
