dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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