Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
