chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
